The Official Parenting Thread

Today my ex wife learned our son (13) loves York Peppermint Patties. A lot. When confronted on why he never mentioned it before he only said "I figured it was obvious they were the best candy."

My immediate response was that we need to interview this boy formally and learn who the fuck he is because he's not gonna just share his inner world with adults naturally. I wanted to know that! He's never mentioned it! Even things that are major gift data about a person just fall through the cracks because the topic never arises.

Got me thinking: what would that formal process look like if I tried? Are there maybe some satisfying round number like 100 questions about my child that I could gather and then knock out in an interview or dripped slowly like a daily activity? "100 data points to better know your kid as a human being" sounds like a fun family project to me and might be something I explore to help me learn the things about him that daily routine misses without it being too open ended ("Tell me more about yourself, kid").

I come to the parenting thread to ask: are there deep details about your kid's psychology you're ever curious about? Their thoughts on life, the universe, and everything? Mundane but useful details like a favorite candy? Do you just naturally drive conversations to pick up these details along the way? Do you have activities that help engage them in self disclosure without it being too formal?
 
IMG_2771.webp
I picked these up over the holidays and have been using them with my 11-year-old son. He’s not huge into disclosure, ha - and I know that I’m more comfortable as a listener myself so I got both to promote conversation from both sides. We’re just doing one/week and it’s pretty new, but I like them a lot. The framing of it being a ‘game’ helps mitigate the perceived threat, i.e. it’s not me grilling him - it’s the card. :)
 
Coyote

I looked up the mothers day questionnaire my friend asks her kid every year and realized her daughter and your son are close in age and her daughter mostly responded that her mom is annoying to every question this year so… I think your son not wanting to hang out at 13 is normal. And these questions are pretty mom centric, unhelpful, and will just get you roasted. But I love where your thought process is.
 
I have found that the best way to find a specific answer is to ask in a round about way. Something like “hey I’m going to the store, any chips or candy you want for the weekend?” “I was thinking about getting some frozen pizzas, what kind do you like?” Hell, take him shopping and let him pick stuff. Could be a bonding experience.
 
Coyote said:
Today my ex wife learned our son (13) loves York Peppermint Patties. A lot. When confronted on why he never mentioned it before he only said "I figured it was obvious they were the best candy."

My immediate response was that we need to interview this boy formally and learn who the fuck he is because he's not gonna just share his inner world with adults naturally. I wanted to know that! He's never mentioned it! Even things that are major gift data about a person just fall through the cracks because the topic never arises.

Got me thinking: what would that formal process look like if I tried? Are there maybe some satisfying round number like 100 questions about my child that I could gather and then knock out in an interview or dripped slowly like a daily activity? "100 data points to better know your kid as a human being" sounds like a fun family project to me and might be something I explore to help me learn the things about him that daily routine misses without it being too open ended ("Tell me more about yourself, kid").

I come to the parenting thread to ask: are there deep details about your kid's psychology you're ever curious about? Their thoughts on life, the universe, and everything? Mundane but useful details like a favorite candy? Do you just naturally drive conversations to pick up these details along the way? Do you have activities that help engage them in self disclosure without it being too formal?
Click to expand...
We talk in the car a lot. She’s pretty open about herself and shares willingly.
 
reasons my 17 year old got mad this weekend

1) we didn't have heavy cream at 9:30 PM last night
2) she opened the fridge and some shit that she had put in there previously fell out. kid let out an agonized scream like she came home and found us all dead... that was just the ignition. what really set her off was her 15 year old sister went to check on the noise & make sure the 17 year old was OK but then didn't clean up the mess. "WHAT YOU'RE JUST GOING TO FREAKING STAND THERE AND NOT CLEAN IT UP???!?!?!!!!"

lots of stomping around, heavy sighs and obvious angry disappointment that her family clearly hates her because of these two things
 
furley said:
reasons my 17 year old got mad this weekend

1) we didn't have heavy cream at 9:30 PM last night
2) she opened the fridge and some shit that she had put in there previously fell out. kid let out an agonized scream like she came home and found us all dead... that was just the ignition. what really set her off was her 15 year old sister went to check on the noise & make sure the 17 year old was OK but then didn't clean up the mess. "WHAT YOU'RE JUST GOING TO FREAKING STAND THERE AND NOT CLEAN IT UP???!?!?!!!!"

lots of stomping around, heavy sighs and obvious angry disappointment that her family clearly hates her because of these two things
Click to expand...
I'm so glad I have a boy. He's messy and farts a lot but I can't handle these type of dramatics in my home. lol.
 
Lutter said:
I'm so glad I have a boy. He's messy and farts a lot but I can't handle these type of dramatics in my home. lol.
Click to expand...
my reaction after things quieted down:

giphy.gif


my wife:

giphy.gif
 
47 More Posts...
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top