The "I Hate Beer" Thread

I had the same can that sameasiteverwas mentioned above. It was a clown something slushie. It had a cute clown on it and balloons and shit.

It's basically marketing beer to children. If it's the kind of shit you can only get through can releases and sells out, fine, whatever.

But if they ever put that shit on shelves, I can't imagine the various legal agencies in this country wouldn't have a problem with it.
A buddy brought that clown beer to our tasting last night. It proceeded to gush violently all over the floor and had so much fruit puree left in it that it was closer to jamba juice than an actual fucking beer. I get that these things end up actually tasting pretty OK, because, you know, they're functionally a smoothie, but I really don't get prioritizing them at all when you can, you know, just get a fucking smoothie.
 
A buddy brought that clown beer to our tasting last night. It proceeded to gush violently all over the floor and had so much fruit puree left in it that it was closer to jamba juice than an actual fucking beer. I get that these things end up actually tasting pretty OK, because, you know, they're functionally a smoothie, but I really don't get prioritizing them at all when you can, you know, just get a fucking smoothie.

just make a smoothie subbing beer for water in the blender. voila!
 
A buddy brought that clown beer to our tasting last night. It proceeded to gush violently all over the floor and had so much fruit puree left in it that it was closer to jamba juice than an actual fucking beer. I get that these things end up actually tasting pretty OK, because, you know, they're functionally a smoothie, but I really don't get prioritizing them at all when you can, you know, just get a fucking smoothie.

Some people need alcohol in everything. I dunno.
 
A buddy brought that clown beer to our tasting last night. It proceeded to gush violently all over the floor and had so much fruit puree left in it that it was closer to jamba juice than an actual fucking beer. I get that these things end up actually tasting pretty OK, because, you know, they're functionally a smoothie, but I really don't get prioritizing them at all when you can, you know, just get a fucking smoothie.
vOt0E9z.gif
 
Some people need alcohol in everything. I dunno.
Maybe it's more "some folks need everything to be out of a can"? I'm not begrudging people who like them, the pinata one was pretty good (although still way too much fruit residue in it), and I had plenty of similar beers at GABF that I enjoyed, but I really don't get going out of your way for it. People line up for this stuff that's basically fruit puree mixed with malt liquor! It's bizarre.
 
Maybe it's more "some folks need everything to be out of a can"? I'm not begrudging people who like them, the pinata one was pretty good (although still way too much fruit residue in it), and I had plenty of similar beers at GABF that I enjoyed, but I really don't get going out of your way for it. People line up for this stuff that's basically fruit puree mixed with malt liquor! It's bizarre.

FOMO is a crazy thing.
 
Maybe it's more "some folks need everything to be out of a can"? I'm not begrudging people who like them, the pinata one was pretty good (although still way too much fruit residue in it), and I had plenty of similar beers at GABF that I enjoyed, but I really don't get going out of your way for it. People line up for this stuff that's basically fruit puree mixed with malt liquor! It's bizarre.

Not much else to do in BFE Indiana.
 
This is brilliant and I may do this the next time I have folks over to share beer. Esp if I can get someone to bring a side-by-side canned bullshit smoothie thing.
Man can you imagine doing a blind taste testing of a bunch of these sorts of beers with a few smoothies thrown in? You'd probably need to practice the smoothies to get the consistency right, but I bet they'd hardly stand out.
 
The Answer "Joose" beers are basically exactly that, beer smoothies made in a keg with Anderson Valley Gose. Which is fine, because they taste good when you're drinking them on-site, and if you want to get crowlers you can do it without waiting in some dumb line or whatever, unlike with these 450 North slushy beer cans.
 
Back
Top